I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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