one might say we're banned from that church
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
