Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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