mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Randomize
