Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
