Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
