just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Mom said you looked used
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
