we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
