I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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