if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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