the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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