Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
