Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
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