escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In other news, I just burned my penis
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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