I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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