i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
