oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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