Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
