Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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