New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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