Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
