Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
