im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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