I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
