your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
