there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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