forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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