I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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