I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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