i barfeds in our rink
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They took my balls.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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