He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
