we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
