I'm eating all of the evidence.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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