I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
