even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
