Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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