she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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