I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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