I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
