Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
