Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
