Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
