Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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