She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
