we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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