kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
