Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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