I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
