Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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