I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
